Category Archives: Domestic Paganism

Swimming against my own currents

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I’d always be real here. About myself, my life, my goals, dreams and failures.

Then, I got caught up, as usual, censoring myself. Worrying about who would read it, what if it was someone from my off-line life and they got mad, or offended, etc.

I got so caught up in that, I nearly stopped blogging completely again. Instead, I’ve been keeping a journal, but I have to admit, I really don’t get the same kind of satisfaction from it that I do from blogging.

The truth is, I don’t blog with the intention of hurting, embarrassing, public shaming or anything like that. It’s one of the reasons I write under a pen-name (you didn’t really think my name was Fae Moon, did you?), although there are a few people in my life that know about this blog.

But, I do have problems, just like everyone else and I’m one of those people that can often work out their problems by writing about it. Sometimes, I even see that I’m wrong or over-reacting when I write.

That being said, I’ve been in turmoil for a while now. Since my mom died, I have felt as though my life has fallen apart, attempted to rebuild, and fallen apart again, repeatedly.

I keep telling myself that it is all a part of whatever the Goddess and God have planned for me, that there are lessons to be learned, etc, and I’m sure that’s true, but in all honesty, it’s been hard and quite painful and I have been experiencing a bit of a crisis of faith.

Having people reenter my life, who were unaware of my spiritual beliefs and largely unfamiliar with Paganism in general, has caused a need to define my beliefs in ways I never had before. There have been questions that I’ve struggled to answer because of the shaky ground my faith was on after my mom’s passing and also because I’d never been asked to define my beliefs.

As I always say though, nearly every situation in life holds some kind of lesson and it’s taken me a while to figure out what that one was.

What I learned in months of retrospective thought, was that my beliefs are very fluid. Maybe it’s the Pisces in me, maybe it’s the constant effort I make to remain open-minded, but whatever the cause, my beliefs, especially when held side-by-side with another religion, are ever-changing. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always considered myself “eclectic Pagan”.

My beliefs shift and flow with new perspectives, new information, my lifestyle choices and my view of the world around me. My personal life experiences also alter my beliefs.

I suppose I see my spirituality in varying shades of grey, rather than in black and white.

Very little seems to be barred from this ebb and flow, but there are a few things that remain constant with me.

I do believe that all gods are one God, regardless of how you choose to express it or what name you give it. God and Goddess to me are simply expressions of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine found in all of life.

I tend to lean towards “Goddess Worship” simply because I am female and seem to naturally be drawn to the feminine side of things, as is evident in my life of what is considered the more “feminine arts”, like Domestic Witchcraft.

Part of the reason I put my clergy classes on hold was because of the spiritual crisis I was dealing with.

It seems that for years, everyone I knew who was Pagan, looked to me to be some kind of spiritual leader in their lives. I chose to take the classes in an effort to fulfill that role, but it was a role I never asked for, and truthfully, never really wanted.

After doing some soul-searching, I have decided that I will eventually start taking some classes again, but I will not be taking clergy classes.

There were a number of classes that appealed to me, such as herbalism and totem spirits, but being a spiritual leader isn’t my path. I see that now.

I think I prefer the quieter, more personal, and practical, practices.

I’ve come to the decision recently in my life in general, that I often cannot be what other people seem to need me to be. I can only be myself, complete with flaws and idiosyncrasies unique only to me.

I’ve grown tired of attempts of people-pleasing since I seem to rarely please anyone, including myself, by doing it.

The things that matter most to me are my home, my health and my little family. I’ve come to realize recently that I need a lot less than I once thought I did.

Right now, my focus needs to be on me, not on everyone else and what they need from me. If I can’t take care of me, then I sure can’t take care of anyone else.

This has led me to ask myself what is important to me and my own growth. One of the things I’ve recently examined was this blog and the Facebook page for it. I debated on if I should continue it or not and after a lot of thought, I’ve decided that whatever else it is, I do get something from it on a personal level. Having somewhere to talk out what’s in my heart and head is important to me. Having somewhere to discuss my life and the things in it is important to me. Call it free therapy if you want, but there is a healing quality for me in writing. It does help me sort out my thoughts and feelings, and often it helps me see things more clearly than I do without it.

So, hopefully I will be here writing more than I have been. I’m not sure what direction it will take other than me just sharing my life and for now, that’s enough for me.

Blessings,

Fae Moon

Imbolc at The Tiny Hearth

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Imbolc for me, is a time to honor my kitchen deities and to make sure the flame of our hearth and home is burning brightly to carry us out of the darkness of our winter slumber.

Here in the south, winter isn’t done with us yet by any stretch of the imagination, but I can see little tell-tell signs in the world around me that underneath the cold, the goddess is hard at work preparing for the coming season of growth.

This year will see many changes in mine and Draco’s lives.  In a few short weeks (if not before), we will become grandparents for the first time and I can feel myself preparing to embrace the role of Crone within our family.

Relationships are shifting and changing, most unknown to those involved.

A new light of respect has entered the eyes of my only child when she looks at me.  An understanding that was never there before often passes between us on the energy waves that have always washed between us like tides upon a shore.

I can see her mentally and emotionally shifting from maiden to mother as her body changes around her to accommodate the precious life she hides within and I cannot express my joy that she is going through this change at this time of year.

Of course, it has not escaped me that my only child will be giving birth during a time of seasonal birth.  Our Wee Witchling will arrive on the spring breeze as the world awakens around her.

We will also be making the transition from our little bedroom here in the roommate’s house to our own tiny hearth.  I can see some of the struggles we will face already looming on the horizon.

As I stood yesterday looking at what will soon become our home, I thought about the amount of work that is going to be involved in getting it ready.  It’s 30 years old, and is starting to look it and the list of things we need to do is only comparable in size to the things we want to do.  I know that for a few weeks we will be so busy with the transition and preparation that there won’t be much time for anything else.

In spite of all of that, it’s a transition I’m looking forward to.  It’s something we’ve discussed for years and just never saw it as practical.  Now, it’s not only practical, but about to become our reality as well.  I feel that in some ways, it is fitting that we’re making such a large transition at this time of year.  Spring is right around the corner and I couldn’t imagine a better time to be involved in our own new beginnings.

I doubt that there will be a lot of spiritual fanfare this year since we’re in such a limbo state at the moment, but I feel that the gods see us here, They know what is going on in our lives and they know that our practices will be running behind (I’ll still be dedicating our hearth fires, just a little behind schedule).

What are your traditions for celebrating Imbolc?

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Domestic Paganism

I knew as soon as I decided to add a category page called “Domestic Paganism” to the blog, that I would feel the need to offer some kind of explanation of what it is ~ and what it’s not.

Probably one of my favorite descriptions of what a Domestic Pagan (Kitchen Witch/Hearth Witch/Domestic Witch) is comes from a post on The Modern Pagan called What is a Domestic Witch?  It gives a good general definition, but to that, I’d like to add my own.

For me, the short answer to “what is a domestic pagan?” is that I focus on home and family and add touches of “magick” throughout my home and my interactions with my family.

The long answer can be a little more complicated, mainly because it’s something that I have finally accepted about Kitchen Witch Creedmyself and am in the process of delving deeper into myself.  As I learn more about this aspect of myself, I know that my definition of it will change and grow with me, but I’ll give you a few ideas of what it is I do that makes me consider myself a “Domestic Pagan”.

For starters, my home and my family are my life.  At the end of the day, they top the list of what is important to me.  It’s one of the few areas of my life where I have to admit, I do care what other people think.  When people come to my home, or meet my family, I want their impression to be a positive one, and I feel like whatever their impressions are, are a direct reflection of me.

I most strongly identify myself with my home and my family.  I feel that they define who I am, what I am, and what my purpose in this lifetime is.

One of my favorite things in the world to do is cook and I can sit and look back to the early years of my life, before I ever knew their was such a thing as Paganism (Domestic or otherwise) and see where, even though I didn’t know what I was really doing other than caring for my home and family, that I unconsciously was practicing Domestic Paganism by adding certain herbs or ingredients to a meal when there were things going on in our lives.

Knowing some of the magickal associations of herbs and foods now, I realize that I was cooking with magick, even then.

Paganism for me, is very basic and simple.  I have tried doing things what I consider “the hard way”, and even spent some time last year going to school working on getting my “Priestess” title, but after some long and serious thought, I realized that it was just more than I really wanted from my spirituality.  I don’t feel that it has to be complicated to be meaningful, and serving the larger community just really isn’t what I want to do.  I want to serve myself, my home and my family.

When I cook, I stir clockwise to bring the energies of the ingredients to us, or counter-clockwise to banish something.  If someone is under the weather, I cook dishes that include foods and herbs with healing properties.   When someone is depressed, I use things that draw happiness or banish negativity.  I chant while I sweep, banishing negative energy from the house.

To some, these things may seem small, but to me, they help make up and define who and what I am, as well as defining a very fulfilling (at least for me) spiritual practice.

As I learn and grow, I will add posts to this topic covering things more in depth, but I hope this at least gives you an idea of what being a Domestic Pagan, or Kitchen Witch, is about.

Blessings,

Fae Moon

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